Appomattox with Trump and Clinton
Recently I began to read more about the American Civil War. Here in Virginia, where I live, that war is impossible
to escape some 150 years after its end.
The conflict-called the ‘war of northern aggression’ by some of my
neighbors, the ‘treasonous rebellion’ by those I grew up with in the north-really
lives on in the streets and towns of this state that was at the heart of the
conflict and that saw more action than any other state.
One of the books that has entered my pantheon of the best
American history books ever written is Jay Winik’s April 1865. Here is an entire book about a single month
where more important stuff happened than perhaps any other short period in our
history. The war ended, Lincoln was assassinated,
reconstruction began…on and on all of these important events happened or began
all in this one month.
No part of this book struck me more powerfully though, than
his description of the surrender of the Army of Virginia by General Robert E.
Lee to General Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox.
Here two giants- true giants of American history-sat down in the parlor
of a farmhouse (a farmhouse owned, in one of those wonderful historical
coincidences, by the same man that owned the farmhouse at the center of the
very first battle of the war, the Battle of Bull Run) to end the war. As Winik imagines it the aristocratic Lee was
to meet with the very un-aristocratic Grant to end this terrible conflict.
But it’s not only the scene itself that Winik writes so
beautifully about that holds my attention. It is also the gentility of the conversation,
the respect shown not only by the men, Lee and Grant, but by the armies to each
other, that hit me the most. Here the
vanquished is treated with such respect by the vanquisher that I realize Winik
is reminding us that these were men who understood they were making history and
that vindication and retribution would do no good for the winner and digging in
heels and continuing the lost battle, would do no good for the loser.
Listen to Jay Winik reenact this scene at Appomattox Court
House between Lee and Grant on that 9th day of April 1865:
With his queer,
stumbling stride, U.S. Grant entered. He
was swordless, dressed in a private’s muddy shirt, his boots and trousers were
splattered with mud, his cheeks were pink, his blue eyes clear…For the first
time in nearly two decades, in this square, somewhat cramped room, the two
generals would see each other in the flesh, face to face. On this day there
were no rituals, no pageantry, no excessive ministrations.
Lee rose to his
feet. The two men shook hands, and then
they took their respective seats, eight feet apart…Grant would later write[.] ‘What
General Lee’s feelings were, I do not know…As he was a man of such dignity,
with an impassible face…his feelings…were entirely concealed from my
observation.’ [Grant} did his best to
put Lee at ease with a friendly overture[.] ‘I met you once before, General
Lee, while we were serving in Mexico…’
‘Yes,’ acknowledged Lee, ‘I know I met you on that occasion, and I have
often thought about it…’
From here Winik allows us to ease drop as these two men take
the first big step toward ending the war by signing a document that Grant
drafts with his own pen right there in the room, Lee asks to be amended, which
Grant does, and then they both sign.
When all is done, Winik tells us, the great General Lee
expresses his concern about what happens next for his men. They discuss what the southern men will be
able to take with them after the surrender.
At first, according to the surrender terms, the enlisted men are not
allowed to take their horses. But when
Lee reminds Grant that this will be the only way they can plant a crop and feed
their families Grant says ‘I shall
appoint to receive the paroles to let all the men who claim to own a horse or a
mule take the animals home with them to their little farms.’ And Lee responds, ‘this will have the best possible effect upon the men…it will be
gratifying and will do much toward conciliating the people.’
Then Lee stands to depart, and the respect of the Union men
in the room can be felt. As he leaves
the courthouse, the Union soldiers waiting outside offer military salute by
raising their hats and Lee rides off.
The scene just takes my breath away…
Reading this I was so lifted by Winik’s prose, his ability
to actually put me in that room, sitting next to those men, I really felt as if
I was there. I could smell Grant’s cigar smoked clothes (though he
uncharacteristically smoked a pipe instead on this occasion); I could see Lee’s
small Bible, which he carried everywhere, bulging from his jacket, the breath
of the attendants around the men could almost be heard and felt; I heard the
chairs scrape the floor as they were pulled out for the men to sit.
Here was prose that changes you, so uplifts you that you
can’t help but be different after reading it.
I was elated by this seldom experienced feeling from reading our history.
And then I was struck with a level of despair that almost
brought me to my knees. For I couldn’t
help but ask myself where are these giants today in America? Where are the Lees and Grants today?
And no matter how hard I wracked my brain I couldn’t come up
with one single person in public life today that could have pulled off this
scene in our history anywhere as successfully or with as much class as these
two men did. I couldn’t think of one
single person!
My despair lead me to begin to picture this scene as if it
were happening today. I saw it with,
instead of Lee and Grant at the table, Trump and Clinton. What, I began to think, if we had been struck
with bad history and this negotiation had to happen today. Imagine how impossible it would be for there
to be even civil conversation let alone something accomplished.
Donald Trump arrives
in the room wearing a kepi that says “Death to the South.” He is wearing a tuxedo since he is in a hurry
to make a benefit program honoring himself, of course.
Hillary Clinton
arrives in a limo which drops her off two blocks from the meeting where she
switches to a Toyota Prius for the remainder of the ride.
The conversation goes something like this:
Trump: Welcome General Clinton. Loser…you know everybody has to go back
right? And everybody has to surrender
completely, give us their horses and guns. They’re all rapists anyway.
Clinton: Good day General Trump…first of all that
isn’t happening. They’re all unionized,
remember. You may be called the Union,
but our soldiers are card-carrying members of the International Brotherhood of
Poorly Dressed and Supplied Citizen Soldiers.
You’ll never win in court.
Trump: that’s
disgusting. You allowed the union to
place your soldiers? No wonder you lost,
loser. With that face it’s no wonder you
gave in.
Clinton: you can keep calling me names but I’m not
budging. And I’ll tell you something
else: after the surrender we want every
family to have a doctor for free; oh and we require that the government not
only let us keep our horses but shoe and feed them for five years too.
Trump: are you out of your mind! We don’t have to do
any of that. Your own people don’t even
want that. I remember when we attacked
you at Gatlinburg…
Clinton: Gettysburg
Trump: and we
were chasing Tickett…
Clinton: Pickett
Trump: same thing…we were chasing him back up the
hill (who gave that order by the way?
What a jerk) there were thousands and thousands of your people-your
people! standing in the field cheering us…cheering us! They love me not you!
Clinton: more delusion. There were only four people cheering you and they
were your wives. And the driver of your
limo-carriage. That’s it. Nobody else.
Trump: what a loser
you are, loser! So how do we end this thing?
You know we’re building a wall at the Mason-Dixon line right? You know Methodist Episcopalian Unitarians
are barred from entering the north right?
Clinton: we had heard something about that.
Trump: probably from that handicapped loser of a
liberal media guy Matthew Brady. And
when we build that wall-which you are going to pay for by the way-your people
are going to love it, just love it!
Clinton: We heard about your wall and barring people from
your President, Lincoln, during the “Hoboken Address.”
Trump: Hoboken New Jersey? He said something in New Jersey? Was that useless Governor there hugging him?
Ugh, disgusting, just disgusting. He should be home running his state and
instead he’s off doing speeches with Lincoln on the beaches of the Jersey
Shore. Really, who elected those losers?
Clinton: so here’s our final offer-we keep everything
including slavery and you go home and leave us be.
Trump: I can live with that. As long as you allow me to hold the mortgage
on the slaves.
Clinton: done.
Trump: ok, look for the terms on my twitter account.
Clinton: as long as it isn’t to my personal email
account…
As the two generals emerge from the meeting the Trump
supporters scream nasty things at Clinton and rough up some of her
supporters. For her part Clinton nods,
drives away to be met by the bigger car two blocks away. The war continues for ten more years…
Even Jay Winik couldn’t write this scene and make it
palatable. I wonder if citizenship in
Borneo takes long to acquire…
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