Simplicity, Silence, Sabbath

So, let us begin the exploration of these three words and their meaning to us today, here, in this world, at this time.

I will tell you that in my 35+ year spiritual search I have determined that these three words comprise a summary of each of the spiritual disciplines I have studied and especially the one I practice, Christianity.  Each of the spiritual masters, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Moses, Mohammed and Jesus called us to a realistic way of life centered on living with as little complication as we can, going off to find times for silence and prayer, and sanctifying time, as in 'this is the only time I have and I should cherish it.'  Each of these masters, in their own words, have said "do not store up treasures here on earth where moth and rust consume and thieves break in and steal; rather store up treasures in heaven and you will be rewarded."  In other words, all the BMW's in the world ain't gonna make you happy (more on my BMW binge later in this blog).  "Where your treasure lies there is your heart."

In the 2000's (is that what you call that decade?  like the 80's or 90's?) I was living a life, that I'm just going to say it, lots of people envied.  I was head of marketing and fund raising for a national nonprofit.  I was managing a lot of people and had good managers below me that did all the work.  We were raising a lot of money and raised the profile of the organization through a variety of things like relationships with Major League Baseball and the NBA, and communications strategies with high profile people like Denzel Washington.

I managed all that fancy stuff.  And I was being paid a lot of money for the nonprofit sector.  I was living well.  I was spending my time on Denzel's private jet discussing the book I helped package and sell for him.  I was cutting ribbons with Anna Kournikova (THE best nonprofit spokesperson bar none and one of the sweetest people I know), shooting commercials with Shaquille O'Neal (world's funniest man--tried to fix me up with an ESPN reporter during one of his Laker practices.  Literally stopped shooting baskets to kid me into talking to her), and I was in the office of major CEO's of major corporations like Coca-Cola and Tupperware and Kimberly Clark.

With all of the sports relationships (those that know me know my passion for sports), came percs I could only dream about.  I was invited free to the NBA All Star Game every year (still am, thanks to the wonderful Kathy Behrens), I was spending time at Super Bowl parties and in suites at ballparks and arenas around the country.  AND, I had a staff pass from Major League Baseball that provided me with two tickets to every game in every stadium all season long.   Yea, you heard it right-every game, everywhere.

Oh yea, about that BMW...530 I baby...  Sweetest car I ever owned.  0-90 in a blink of an eye.  Dashboard full of stuff I never did master.  Beautiful car, beautiful

And it owned me.  I was so scared of getting a scratch I was one of those assholes we all hate that parked his car in two spaces--sideways.  Spill something in it (very easy because it had the worst cup holders ever), and I was a mess til I could get somewhere and clean it up.  Birds shitting on it! Wanted to get a shotgun and shoot every single one of them.

I didn't own the BMW.  The BMW owned me.

In terms of other things-- I had things, and kept buying more things. Heck, I had money, kids were out of the house, why not? I even bought a Rolex watch once retail. Are you kidding me?

In short I was living well and hobnobbing with some big wigs.  People looked up to me and thought, 'man what a great life!'

They were wrong.

I was miserable.  Downright, god-awful, miserable.

I had no time for myself.  I was on airplanes four days a week, sometimes having trips that lasted a week at a time.  I was exhausted, fat, eating crap everyday, drinking too much and I was seeing my kids once a year.  I was spending every waking moment trying to figure out what I could do that day to make myself happy, and seemingly every time deciding it was buy something else, drop another name, schedule another trip.

I was a mess.

Classic case right?  Only thing I needed was a Charlie Shean meltdown to complete the package.

I was also divorced and in a relationship that had no demands, meaning if I wanted to do something about all this, I could with little confusion.  If I had the guts to actually take a look at this make believe happy life, I could do it.  And if I had the chutzpah to put that life away, I could probably be happy again.

I hadda' do something.

About 2005, just before I left that nonprofit job, I re-read Duane Elgin's classic on simplicity called Voluntary Simplicity.  Originally published in 1981, this book was, and in my mind still is, the ultimate bible for those looking to simplify their lives. There is a lot in the book about society, the global challenges we face, civilization transformation.  But the middle of the book is about what he calls the philosophy of simplicity, and it is there that one can learn just how powerful this way of life can be.

I also began to seriously study two other texts:  The Tao Te Ching--the Tao is a simple book with 81 short chapters that talk about the flow of nature and the world and how our happiness comes when we get into the flow (my interpretation and in violation of the Tao that says 'if you can name it, it isn't the Tao').  It was written by Lao Tzu (there is little evidence it was actually written by one man, Lao Tzu but was probably developed over time by many teachers), and the most important text of all in my mind, The Sermon on the Mount.

These three texts taught me two really important things;
1.  boy was I screwed up.
2.  if I wanted to get unscrewed, they could help me do it.

So my study became these words.  They consumed me on those airplanes, evenings, weekends...all the time.

And low and behold over a period of years (and still going on), I began to see that simplicity was possible, prayer was essential, and mindful attention to the everyday, the here and now, was the only way to eliminate the regrets and prevent the fears of the future.

So SiSiSa developed for me over time, over those 35+ years and now guides my life.

Simplicity which we shall look at first, is at the root of this way of life.  Simplicity is also one of those things like the weather that everybody talks about but "nobody does anything about."  In other words each of us at one time or another has not only thought about how to relieve our busy lives of some of the stress and bother, but I'll bet all of us at one time or another have actually said the words "I wish I could simplify my life."

Simplicity is also, in my mind, the easiest of our three disciplines to do and stick to. And it's the most essential in the process.

Do you need to simplify?  Try something for me:  get up from your chair right now, if you are home.  Walk to your bedroom closet where you keep your clothes, and open the door.  Now begin going through your clothes and pull out every single thing in there, including shoes and ties and sweaters and skirts, that you haven't worn in one year.  Everything.  Go on, get it out of there.

Can't see over the pile can you?

Try the same thing with the garage, the basement, the storage bins.  Hell, try the same thing with your contacts on your telephone and computer!  How many of the people in your contacts can you say you either haven't spoken to in god knows when, or you can't even remember who they are!

See my point.  The process of simplifying includes many things which we are going to explore.  One of them is possessions-what we own, why we own it, why we don't need it.  And one of the glorious aspects of simplifying is the pleasure we get from downsizing our stuff.

You don't need those clothes you haven't worn in a year (and as a priest once said, "your excess is somebody's else's necessity"). 

You don't need three lawn mowers and four bicycles.

You don't need to keep names in your contact list that you will never speak to again.

Now, though I have spoken about this form of simplifying to make a point it's not going to be the part we're going to dive into first.  Because along with my study of these three texts came the realization that simplifying by throwing out stuff is one thing.  Simplifying by changing my attitude about life and some of the things I do is quite another.

In other words I determined over a long period that I had attitude problems and behavior problems that needed to be addressed at the same time I was trying to wean myself off stuff.  Simplifying was more than trips to Goodwill to drop off that extra bowling ball I had.

Frankly as ususal I got manic about simplifying.  Another things friends can tell you is that when I decide to do something, learn something or study something I can't do it half way.  I'm all in and consumed by it (get my kids to tell you about my 'country music phase'...cowboy boots and everything).

But I found over years, many years really that I could do it.

Today?  I live in a small cottage in the historic district of Leesburg, VA.  I make about 55k a year and have more money than I need.  I work for who I want, when I want, as much as I want.  And I have time for kids, friends, significant others and life in general.

And I have no airplanes.  No meetings.  No staff or HR stuff to deal with. 

In short, though my life is far from perfect, I have simplified and I have created a way of life that will keep me in my last years on this earth.  And I am happy, truly happy.

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To get things started then we aren't going to look at the stuff first.  We're going to address the attitudes and behaviors first.

In my next post we'll begin looking at The Five Attitudes we need to adopt to be simple.  We'll start with intention meaning the willingness to get serious about this stuff and having the guts to stick it out and persevere.

See you in about a week...