Purgatory and the Cubs
The church has created some goofy stuff in its 2000+ years but nothing is goofier than purgatory. As I remember it from my best friend as a kid, who was scared to death of being sent there after he died, it's that place you go after you buy the farm if you weren't baptized, or you were a bad person or maybe if you masturbated too much (not sure on that one but if this was one of the qualifiers, he was in deep trouble). In other words this was the place where you waited to go to heaven. Kind of the Greyhound Terminal for dead people.
People could actually pray you out of the place too. If you had enough people praying for you to get out of purgatory, I guess some score keeper would determine just when you had enough pray-ers and presto you were out! My friend was always worried not enough of us would pray for him...he was right. If his fate was left to the clowns I hung around with, he was going to be there a long time.
Really, heaven is silly enough...but a joint for people waiting to get there? I always thought (think) it was ridiculous.
Then I signed with the Cubs in 1970, lasted about a week and a half and began rooting for them.
Now I get purgatory.
I've been in the damn place for 40+ years. And there aren't enough people praying for me, that's for sure. Year after year I wait. Year after year I say 'this is the year,' and year after year come about June 1st I fling my Cubs hat across the room and tell my family I now root for the Expos.
It really is like purgatory too. I mean, I made it up just like the church. And I'm sitting there with no way to get myself out of the place. I'm dependent on guys named Starlin for christ's sake and Darwin...Starlin and Darwin! Painful, very painful.
But, that being said, this IS the year for us. I mean it. We have Starlin and Darwin lighting it up. Pitching is good if not great, and Matt Garza is on the mound! Wait, oh crap. Garza is 0-4. Another great acquisition.
I ain't never getting out of purgatory.
No wonder my friend masturbated...
People could actually pray you out of the place too. If you had enough people praying for you to get out of purgatory, I guess some score keeper would determine just when you had enough pray-ers and presto you were out! My friend was always worried not enough of us would pray for him...he was right. If his fate was left to the clowns I hung around with, he was going to be there a long time.
Really, heaven is silly enough...but a joint for people waiting to get there? I always thought (think) it was ridiculous.
Then I signed with the Cubs in 1970, lasted about a week and a half and began rooting for them.
Now I get purgatory.
I've been in the damn place for 40+ years. And there aren't enough people praying for me, that's for sure. Year after year I wait. Year after year I say 'this is the year,' and year after year come about June 1st I fling my Cubs hat across the room and tell my family I now root for the Expos.
It really is like purgatory too. I mean, I made it up just like the church. And I'm sitting there with no way to get myself out of the place. I'm dependent on guys named Starlin for christ's sake and Darwin...Starlin and Darwin! Painful, very painful.
But, that being said, this IS the year for us. I mean it. We have Starlin and Darwin lighting it up. Pitching is good if not great, and Matt Garza is on the mound! Wait, oh crap. Garza is 0-4. Another great acquisition.
I ain't never getting out of purgatory.
No wonder my friend masturbated...
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